ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
