can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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