My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
