Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
