you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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