I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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