Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
