my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
