I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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