i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
