i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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