i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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