wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
