that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
