i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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