so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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