Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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