Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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