I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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