Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
