We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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