sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
