I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
