yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want to fling myself into the sun
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
