ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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