he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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