we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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