sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
