i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
