remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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