is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
