Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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