would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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