Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
