what day is it and did you see me today?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
