My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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