well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
