Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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