Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
