You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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