I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
