He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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