You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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