so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
