Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
