Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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