Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
