I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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