she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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