So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
